Picture this: You show up to a casual dinner with friends, ready to relax after a long workday, only to find yourself suddenly on the receiving end of a not-so-subtle jab. What seemed like an innocent potluck quickly turned into a passive-aggressive moment, leaving you red-faced and second-guessing everything that happened.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) was invited by a friend to a potluck. However, after mentioning to the host that they couldn’t bring anything and being assured it was fine, they were shocked when it was mentioned during the event as a jab from the host.
More info: Reddit
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The author was invited by a close friend to a potluck and was asked to bring snacks; however, they couldn’t because they were coming straight from work
Image credit: junebanan
They arrived at the event, and people had brought snacks; however, they had also planned to clean up to make up for the fact that they didn’t bring anything
Image credit: junebanan
When people complimented the food, the friend made a passive-aggressive comment about the author not bringing anything
Image credit: junebanan
This upset the author, especially because their friend had told them it was okay if they didn’t bring anything
The OP was invited to a casual dinner by a close friend, and the premise was simple: everyone had to bring something, whether it be drinks, snacks, or whatever they felt like contributing. So they asked their friend what to bring, explaining that they would be coming straight from work and might be rushed.
Their friend assured them it wasn’t a big deal and that she had plenty of food already and just wanted her to come. Relieved, the OP showed up without bringing anything. Everything seemed fine at first. Guests brought food, and the OP was even planning to pitch in with the cleanup since they hadn’t brought anything, figuring that was the least they could do.
But as people complimented the food, their friend made a biting remark, telling everyone that they didn’t bring anything to the event. The remark, though possibly meant in jest, hit hard, as it made the OP feel exposed and uncomfortable, especially since they had specifically been told they didn’t need to bring anything.
On the way home, the OP couldn’t help but feel it was unfair. However, they struggled with whether to bring it up with the friend. On the one hand, it seemed like a small issue and they didn’t want to overreact. On the other hand, they couldn’t shake the feeling that they had been unfairly treated.
Bustle emphasizes that it’s best to avoid showing up to someone’s home empty-handed, even if you’re close friends. While it doesn’t have to be anything pricey, bringing a small token of appreciation like wine, flowers, chocolates, or even homemade snacks is considered good etiquette.
After all, it was because the OP didn’t show up to the potluck with anything that their friend displayed what Simply Psychology would refer to as passive aggression. They highlight that signs of passive aggression include sarcasm, moody behavior, evading direct conversation, and making subtle, patronizing remarks.
However, Rich Woman Magazine maintains that open and honest communication is key to maintaining strong, lasting friendships. When friends feel safe expressing their feelings and setting boundaries, it builds trust and emotional closeness.
They advise addressing issues immediately rather than letting them simmer, as it helps to prevent misunderstandings from turning into deeper conflicts.
Netizens insisted that the friend’s remark was passive-aggressive and unnecessary. However, several others stated that the OP should have brought something, no matter how small. Overall, the verdict was that showing up empty-handed is generally seen as rude, but the friend’s public comment was also inappropriate.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think it’s acceptable to show up empty-handed to a casual gathering, or should everyone always bring something despite being told not to? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens were divided on the situation as some insisted the author wasn’t wrong, while some rallied around the friend instead
