You’re expected to go the extra mile for family, but surely there have to be some limits? If not, you’re sure to be taken advantage of at some point. It’s probably better to stand your ground in some cases, if only to defend your boundaries.
One guy who moved out a while back is at his wits’ end with his destructive younger siblings. They’ve already damaged some of his stuff, so he told his parents they wouldn’t be welcome at his place, but then asked netizens if that was a jerk move.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:You’re pretty much expected to go the extra mile for family, but this guy has reached his limit
His younger siblings are in the habit of destroying his things and getting away with it
Having had enough of their disrespect, he told his parents they would not be welcome at his apartment
His parents think he’s being unreasonable, and that family is more important than stuff, but he won’t budge, especially with expensive music equipment at his place
Now his parents are upset with him, so he’s turned to netizens to ask if banning his siblings from visiting was a jerk move
Moving out for college is a major step toward independence, but for OP, it also meant an unintentional distance from his family, especially his younger siblings. Now, years later, he’s got a dream loft packed with expensive music equipment, but there’s just one problem: his siblings, who have a history of breaking his stuff, aren’t welcome.
His dad and stepmom miss OP deeply but his relationship with his siblings is strained. During a recent holiday visit, they destroyed his Nintendo Switch and shattered his phone screen, proving exactly why he can’t trust them around his stuff. When his parents pushed for more visits, however, OP finally had to lay out the hard truth.
He told them that hosting his siblings was out of the question. His loft isn’t just a home—it’s his music studio, filled with thousands of dollars of gear, he explained. Instead of understanding his point of view, his parents called him out for prioritizing possessions over family, accusing him of not making an effort to bond with his siblings.
Understandably frustrated by the situation, OP now finds himself torn between maintaining his practical, quite necessary boundaries and repairing his fraying family relationships. He’s since turned to an online community to ask whether or not banning his siblings from visiting his place is a jerk move.
From what OP tells us in his post, his siblings sound like a nightmare on four legs. He’s well within his rights to want to keep their grubby paws off his stuff. After all, it’s his place, his rules. It’s also not his responsibility to discipline the terrible twosome – that’s on his parents. Is there any way forward for the family? We went looking for answers.
OP has already explained his boundaries and reasoning, but his parents seem stuck on the “family means more than stuff” idea. While they might view his reluctance to host his siblings as rejection, in reality, he’s just protecting his space and livelihood. There’s obviously a communication breakdown, and we don’t think it’s OP’s fault.
According to a post on the Arise Society website, encouraging open and honest dialogue can break down barriers and foster understanding between family members who aren’t seeing eye to eye. Families can practice active listening, where each member feels heard and validated.
In her article for Psychology Today, Dianne Grande (Ph.D.) writes that active listening is a way of listening that involves full attention to what is being said for the primary purpose of understanding the speaker. According to Grande, if we aren’t listening actively, we’re likely to miss the real message.
OP’s parents clearly aren’t picking up what he’s putting down. Unless they change their tune and see things from his perspective, the unhappy situation isn’t going to change. In fact, it may even get worse. At least his space will remain an undisturbed sanctuary.
What would you do if you were in OP’s shoes? Do you think his parents need a reality check, or at least some lessons in parenting reckless kids? Share your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers slammed the parents for not actually parenting and their terrible attitude when it comes to boundaries
