When you get married to someone, you’re then expected to make an effort for them and their family. Even a little bit of effort goes a long way and can show that you genuinely care about your partner and their loved ones.
Sometimes, though, it can be hard to manage the expectations of your in-laws, especially if your priorities lie elsewhere. This was a dilemma a man faced when he desperately wanted to attend a sports event but got criticized by his pregnant wife who expected him to go to her mom’s birthday party.
More info: Mumsnet
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The woman explained that her husband got free tickets to a sporting event that he really wanted to go to and was willing to miss her mom’s birthday lunch to do so
Since the poster was pregnant and also had a 14-month-old to look after, she didn’t want to travel to her mom’s party alone as it would be tough to manage herself and the kid
Initially, the husband didn’t want to give up on attending his sporting event to help his wife travel, but he eventually decided not to go
The poster’s main issue with her husband’s plans was that he felt okay letting her travel while pregnant with a toddler in tow
The woman gave an important insight into her husband’s relationship with his in-laws. She mentioned that although she goes to all of his family gatherings, there weren’t that many events on her side to go to. Since her mom always helped them as much as she could, the poster felt bad that her partner was missing her birthday lunch.
Of course, it may not be feasible to attend every family function, but experts say that people must make an effort for their partner’s relatives to show that they care. Couples need to communicate with each other about which events are important to attend and why they are so meaningful. Knowing this will help set expectations and avoid misunderstandings in the future.
The poster’s husband also expected her to be able to manage her travel while pregnant and looking after a 14-month-old. When she mentioned that her family might not be able to take care of her transport, he told her that it was her problem as she never learned how to drive.
According to research, pregnant women need to be careful while driving due to the possible bouts of fatigue and lightheadedness they may feel. It would be better for someone else to drive the vehicle so that they can flex their limbs, stretch, and move around a bit to avoid discomfort. So, it’s good the OP denied traveling alone as she wouldn’t be able to take care of herself along with a toddler.
One important thing that the poster mentioned was that her husband was a hands-on father. He never really skipped out on his parenting duties and was generally present for family events. That’s why, this time, she felt annoyed at his sudden need to attend the sporting event while disregarding her concerns.
That’s why it’s important for partners to communicate their feelings as often as possible. Even if there is a tiny bit of resentment, it’s important to get those concerns out in the open; otherwise, they can build up over time. Reiterating what events and situations are important to you is the best way to have your partner be on the same page and know what they need to show up for.
Apart from the worry of letting her mom down and the annoyance at having to manage traveling solo, the OP explained that her last pregnancy had been a high-risk one. It’s possible that she felt scared to be on her own without her husband’s support because of her past pregnancy experiences.
Regardless of the woman’s initial feelings of annoyance, she was glad that her husband eventually decided not to go to the sports event. Hopefully, he understood her feelings and they discussed the matter in detail. Either way, the guy’s mother-in-law is bound to have a wonderful birthday party with her family all being present.
How do you think couples should handle conflicts like this? Do share any advice that you think is relevant.
Folks were disappointed by the husband’s behavior and were shocked he wanted his pregnant wife to travel alone with a toddler in tow
