Sometimes you’ll come across a 30-something who looks, walks, and talks like a teenager. They only care about a couple of things – hookups, money, cars, clothes… The worst part of it is when they finally open their mouth and you can feel yourself transported right back to school, or even worse… a frat!
There are easy ways to tell these people apart, though. A lot of the time they’ll even do the legwork for you, by being a super loud and obnoxious person up front. We’ve got a whole bunch of these loud and obnoxious, but ultimately funny stories for you today!
More info: Reddit
#1
I was a three-time All-State swimmer in high school. I tell people about it all the time. So the answer is me, I scream that I peaked in high school.
#2
Telling struggling young people, “These are the best years of your life. Enjoy them.”
Edit: Also, fighting with the same people you went to high school with over stupid s**t in your 30s.
#3
“I’m an alpha” coupled with “can I borrow 20 bucks?”
#4
When my dad is angry at a decision made by an MLB baseball manager, he will say something like “this is never what we would have done when I played”. Dad never played beyond early high school.
#5
40 years old, drives a Chevy pickup truck with a “Don’t tread on me” sticker on the back, backward hat, and sunglasses, along with a monster energy drink in the left hand and punching a hole in the wall with the right hand
#6
Never leaving the town you grew up in, and the highlight of your week is the Friday night football game at your old HS where you tell everyone that will listen about your game winning TD that happened 20+ years ago.
#7
Putting “*school of hard knocks*” on your social media profile page.
#8
Bullying as an adult
#9
Posting (& reposting) your cheerleading pictures on FB, in your 50s
#10
Spam messaging people from HS in you’re 30’s to scam them with an MLM you bought into.
#11
I remember a pep rally senior year when a kind of friend of mine blew up a condom as a balloon and started singing terribly into it. It was embarrassing and I was going to engage them to stop. Another friend of mine stopped me and said “let him. This is as good as it gets for him.” And f**k he was right.
#12
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Has nothing to do with peaking in high school directly, but damned if every girl who peaked in high school doesn’t say that s**t.
#13
Todd “I went to 8 consecutive proms at the same high school.”
He was so athletic that as a Freshman he dated a junior and went to prom. Same with Sophomore year. Junior and Senior years he dated underclass girls. After prom he became a custodian. For the next 4 years he Matthew McConaughey’d his way through students.
When he knocked one up, he celebrated with his friends on a golf course and attempted to drive from that drunk and got in a wreck. There is a memorial golf scholarship in his name.
#14
Bragging about your HS hookups when you’re in your 30s.
#15
Those adults that actively try to hang out with high schoolers and try to act cool with them. Could be pedophiles, could be highschool peakers. Or both, happens pretty often.
#16
Constantly reminding us how much opportunity you had in high school .. like dude can I just have my Arby’s and go?
#17
“I could have made it to state”
#18
Going to the highschool football games in your 30s and still try and have conversations with staff or students thinking your words of wisdom will help the team.
#19
I know someone who reposts their posts from highschool multiple times a year and has only a couple recent pictures
Adding “leigh” to your kids names
#21
Wearing your Varsity jacket in your 30s, 40s, etc.
#22
“when I was in school, I was benching 300 too”
“….I’m 31.”
#23
Being obsessed with trying to throw a football overa mountain.
#24
People bragging about their SAT scores in their 40s.
#25
Never leaving your hometown, hanging out at the same bar with the same people you went to highschool with, still talking about stuff from high school, and still chasing after/crying over the same guys/girls.
Naked lady silhouette,/”mama bear”/Salt Life/ “keep honking I’m reloading” decal
MLM /”health coach”/”life coach” as profession. No, you sell s****y makeup and shakes.
Becoming a town police officer/firefighter and making it your entire personality.
#26
“I just tell it like it is and if you can’t handle that then too bad.”
#27
Attending a high school reunion after the advent of social media. It seems it’s either to relive the glory days or to prove something, neither usually works out the way people want it to.
#28
Wearing a graduation ring more than a year after graduating
#29
Hyped over attending reunions
Graduating to go straight into teaching and going right back to teaching high school. Bonus point if you teach at the school you just graduated from
#30
Being a woman’s shoe salesman