Some people collect sneakers, others collect plants, and then there are those who collect favors. The problem is that they rarely return them, especially if they’re “family.”
Because apparently, being related means you’re expected to bend over backwards, since “that’s what family does.” And when you finally say no? That’s when the fireworks start.
One Redditor learned this the hard way when she refused to babysit her sister’s kids after 3 years, as her husband tries to force her to watch his ex’s kids, plus his ex’s boyfriend’s kids. Yeah, it’s a doozy.
More info: Reddit
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One woman stops babysitting her sister’s kids after her husband shows up at her door with a bunch of stranger’s kids without warning
The woman has been the go-to babysitter for her niece and nephew for 3 years, and she occasionally watches her brother-in-law’s kids with his ex, too
The brother-in-law shows up at the woman’s door with his kids and his ex’s kids, plus his ex’s boyfriend’s kids, and expects the woman to babysit
The woman tells her sister she won’t babysit for her again after her entitled husband tries to force her to watch kids she doesn’t even know
The OP (original poster) happily stepped into the cool aunt role, for 3 years. She watched her sister’s kids after school, and even tossed in the occasional Saturday night so the parents could go out and eat dinner without chicken nuggets flying across the table.
At first, everything was fine. She watched her niece and nephew, plus her sister’s husband’s 2 kids from a previous relationship. No problem. She knew the family, loved the kids, and was more than willing to help out. But things took a turn when her brother-in-law started pushing boundaries, asking the OP to babysit when he wasn’t even supposed to have the kids.
One weekend, the sis and her hubby asked for another Saturday night babysitting favor. Nothing unusual, until the husband showed up at the door with not just the usual kids, but also his ex’s younger child and her boyfriend’s kids. Yep, that’s a whole bunch of random kids who suddenly became her problem. But the OP wasn’t having it.
Can you imagine expecting to host a pizza night with your niece and nephew, only to find yourself running an impromptu daycare for 7 kids you don’t even know? That’s not babysitting – that’s crowd control. So, the OP shut the door on that plan, literally. She called her sis, explained that it was way beyond what she had agreed to, and drew the line: No more free childcare. Ever.
So, is the OP a jerk for saying no? I don’t know about you, but I’m going with “no” on this one. Helping with the kids you love? Awesome. Being expected to run a summer camp for your brother-in-law’s ex’s boyfriend’s kids? Hard pass.
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I get it, sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re being helpful and when you’re just getting played. But one clue is if favors turn into expectations. They just expect you to take care of their needs and become distant if you don’t. Suddenly, “Thank you so much!” becomes “So, what time should I drop them off?” without even asking if you’re free.
Another sign that someone is taking advantage of you is the guilt trip combo meal: They act hurt when you say no, even if you’ve said yes the last 20 times. And let’s not forget the mystery of the one-sided relationship, where your phone only rings when someone needs a babysitter, a ride, or help moving a couch. I guess being used is the cousin of entitlement.
Because entitled folks treat your kindness like it’s a subscription service they’re paying for, except, they’re not. Some folks get so comfortable taking that they forget you’re actually doing them a favor. In their minds, you owe them time, favors, money and even babysitting help, just because they want it.
Entitled folks think they deserve more and better than others and they’ll keep asking for more and more until you hit pause. So, hit that pause button, don’t give into their demands and just live your best life without feeling guilty. And if someone still doesn’t understand the word “no,” maybe just gift them a dictionary.
What do you think of this story? Was the poster a jerk for refusing to babysit random kids? Share your thoughts and comments below!
Netizens side with the woman, saying she is not a jerk for cancelling babysitting after her brother-in-law tried to take advantage of her kindness
