Sipping cocktails by the pool and skinny-dipping at 1AM or chatting about table liners with your mom and mom-in-law while sipping lukewarm tea? Is that even a choice? Well, apparently, for some people it is.
Because weddings don’t just bring 2 people together, they rope in everyone within a 10-mile radius. Moms, aunts, cousins, you name it. Suddenly, everyone has thoughts on napkin colors and signature cocktails.
And just when a couple thinks they’ve caught a break, like scoring a free beach vacation, someone’s mom drops hints about joining, turning the romantic getaway into a wedding-planning bootcamp for the family.
More info: Reddit
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One engaged couple scores a free luxury vacation before their wedding, feels guilty for not taking their moms with them when they drop hints
The groom travels for work often, so he receives a 3-night stay at a luxury resort, plus cheap flights from the bride’s flight attendant dad
The couple has great relationships with their moms, so they feel guilty when they drop hints about wanting to join them on vacation
The couple decides to go on vacation without their moms and have an amazing time, without regretting their decision
The OP (original poster) and her fiancé, stumbled into the deal of a lifetime: 3 free nights at a luxe resort in Cabo, plus a huge villa upgrade and cheap flights, courtesy of the OP’s dad’s flight attendant status. They were ready to cash in on the holy trinity of rest, relaxation, and romance.
But the best part is that the entire trip was basically costing them pocket change. I’m talking 500 bucks for a vacation that would normally drain a savings account. But just when they were picturing poolside cocktails, and a few clothing-optional dips in their private pool, their moms had other ideas.
Both moms, who are in their 60s and 70s, casually dropped a “Wow, we’re so jealous, wish we could come!” line. So, our couple felt trapped. On one hand, they love their moms and enjoy spending time with them. On the other hand…this wasn’t exactly a “let’s invite the moms” type of trip.
But it’s hard to get in vacation mode when you know your mother-in-law is two doors down, the dynamic would obviously change. Spontaneous tequila shots at 11 AM and skinny-dipping after midnight? A little harder when you’re worried about your mom catching you. Still, the guilt crept in. So, are they jerks for saying no to their moms? Well, I guess there’s no “yes” or “no” answer.
When moms make comments like that, it’s usually about something deeper than just a trip, like empty nest syndrome. When kids grow up and start planning weddings or moving on with their lives, parents can feel a little left out of the party. It’s like suddenly realizing your VIP parenting pass has expired.
Some moms fill the gap with hobbies or girls’ trips, others start subtly inserting themselves into their adult kids’ plans. And hey, who can blame them? Going from full-time mom to “text me when you land” is a tough shift. The best way to handle the change is by setting new shared rituals, like weekly brunches or phone calls, so moms still feel connected, without needing to pack for your honeymoon.
Because the last thing a couple planning a wedding needs is more stress. Trust me, I know. Planning a wedding, which is basically a full-time job, which you have to pay for, dressed up in tulle and spreadsheets. Wedding planning stress isn’t just about bridezillas or grooms panicking over tuxedos, it’s a legit mental and physical load.
It can cause insomnia, headaches, decision fatigue, and the classic “I’m fine” meltdown after arguing over flower arrangements. The trick to handling it? Break big tasks into smaller chunks, outsource what you can, say no when you need to, and for the love of all things holy, don’t lose sleep over napkin folds.
I’d also recommend setting “wedding-free zones” by blocking off time when nobody is allowed to mention the big day. Bonus points if that zone includes cocktails and zero spreadsheets.
What do you think of this story? Would you take your mom and mother-in-law on your romantic pre-wedding vacation? Let us know in the comments!
Netizens say the poster and her fiancé are not jerks for not taking their moms with them, but suggest keeping details private next time
