Times have changed. Nowadays it’s not unusual for women to earn more than their husbands. Or for some men to be stay-at-home dads. It’s really up to what works for the couple. But not everyone is open-minded enough to accept that traditional gender norms are shifting.
One very successful woman has been left stunned after her wealthy future in-laws asked her to quit her high-paying job. They’d prefer her to be a stay-at-home-mom. Because, apparently, her big paycheck is emasculating their son. When the woman offered a compromise that she felt was fair, the “old-money” family went nuts.
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One woman’s wealthy in-laws want her to quit her job so that she doesn’t earn more than their trust-fund son
The woman gave some more info in the comments section
Times are changing but many men can’t handle being “out-earned”
The number of women who earn as much as, or a lot more than, their husbands has nearly tripled over the past 50 years. But this hasn’t stopped many men from feeling emasculated.
Texas-based therapist Duewa “Kaya” Spicer says an imbalance in earnings can manifest as a perceived power imbalance. If couples still assume the societal norm of the man being the primary breadwinner.
Of course, this isn’t always the case. Things can work “if both parties are secure in their earning and their role in the relationship,” notes the expert.
One of the ways money can rock the boat is when the higher-earning partner feels they have more say in decision-making. This could lead to conflict or resentment. While the partner who earns less might feel more pressure to contribute financially. Another cause of stress and strain in the relationship.
The lower-earning spouse might also think they need to match or exceed their partner’s income in order to feel like an equal. They could even consider working longer hours or taking on side hustles to do this. And more work essentially means less time with family. And added resentment.
Then there’s the 2023 study that revealed that despite many women earning more than their husbands, they’re still carrying the bigger load when it comes to household chores and duties.
The researchers found that American wives spend more time on housework and childcare, while their husbands spend more time on paid work and leisure. Another obvious cause for conflict and stress within the relationship…
Spicer says open communication is crucial when one partner earns more. “I cannot stress enough how important it is to discuss financial expectations early in the relationship,” she told psychentral.com.
“Ask your partner about how they engage with their finances,” adds the expert. “Just because one partner is a higher earner doesn’t automatically mean they are financially more responsible.”
You might also need to compromise, says another therapist. Candace Kotkin-De Carvalho suggests setting up a budget that works for both partners. Include things like fun activities, date nights, hobbies and vacations. And draw upan agreement that outlines your financial goals and expectations.
“Focus on celebrating each other’s successes and supporting one another through difficult times,” Kotkin-De Carvalho advises. “Acknowledge your partner’s hard work, efforts, and dedication to their career and express gratitude for their contributions to your lives. This will help them feel valued and respected regardless of their financial status.”
“Don’t do it”: many people rallied behind the woman
Some netizens cautioned the woman to rethink the relationship and marriage
“I’d tell my son to drop you”: not everyone took the woman’s side
People shared their own similar stories
